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How many tries did it take to find out if Lance Armstrong was ticklish?

One testtickle

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What did Euler find in his toilet?

A natural log

What did the Time Traveller find when he brought a joint to Ancient Greece?

The Philosophers Stoned

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Why did the old man hate using the new chip cards?

He's trying to watch his sodium intake.

Why did the frat boy throw away his curtains?

He was trying to get some Natural Light.

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What's Lance Armstrong's favorite pen brand?

Uniball. What's a Muslim's favorite pen Arab Bic. What's a deaf-mute's favorite pen Pentel.

Why such hate on Lance Armstrong?

I think his riding style is pretty dope.