How should I respond?

Source: http://qr.ae/xUchD

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What do you call a Vulcan philosopher who only responds in questions?

Spocrates.

What's worse: ignorance or indifference?

Johnny", responds his dad, " I neither know nor care." Edit: granma grammar.

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If I had to guess the religion of Daniel Day Lewis...

I would probably say Methodist.

Where does Lance Armstrong go to continue his education?

Http://cms.bsu.edu/

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Whats the difference between a genie and a genius?

A genie grants wishes, while a genius wishes for grants.

What do you get when you buy a $5 umbrella?

Wet.