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How woke?

Me: We're putting Harriet Tubman on something that enslaves us all today.

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Today Jokes More Today Jokes

How did you prepare for today?

Red carpet question with "Cocaine and sit ups." #GoldenGlobes

Why is everyone smiling at me today?

Checks fly* *no pants* Aaaah.

Wake Jokes More Wake Jokes

How often do Chinese people have elections?

When they wake up every morning.

I had a dream that I was a muffler last night.

I woke up exhausted!

Enslave Jokes More Enslave Jokes

Why did the aliens choose to not invade and enslave the human race?

Because they're not garbage collectors.

How woke?

Me: We're putting Harriet Tubman on something that enslaves us all today.

Harriet Tubman Jokes More Harriet Tubman Jokes

How woke?

Me: We're putting Harriet Tubman on something that enslaves us all today.

What's the difference between the Red Hot Chili Peppers and Harriet Tubman?

Harriet Tubman was a heroine to the slaves, but the Red Hot Chili Peppers were slaves to heroin.