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What are my choices?

He asked. "Yes or no," she replied.

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What did the Buddhist say when asked if he'd like to move from Tibet to North Korea?

Nah. I'ma stay.

Who's...(loud crash as a battering ram demolishes the front door)...there?

We're the Ferguson Police Department. We ask the questions.

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Why is it that New Jersey got all the toxic waste dumps and California got all the lawyers?

New Jersey had first choice.

What is a Norweigan's compact car of choice?

A Fjord Fjocus.

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What's this for?

He asked. "A pay rise." I replied. "My wife told me to grow it first and then ask you."

What's up, punk?

Nothing," he replied, "I've just never seen a man using hair rollers before."