What are the first words Jared Fogle's girlfriend said to him?

Would you like to buy some girl scout cookies, sir?

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What kind of watch is best for people who don't like time on their hands?

A pocket watch.

What's your favourite animal?

Me too, I like the saltyness

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Why do butchers avoid buying cattle from Colorado?

Because the steaks are too high.

Why shouldn't you buy underwear made in the Ukraine?

Because Chernobyl fallout.

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What do you call a show about puns?

A play on words.

Ever wondered why bees hum?

It's because they don't know the words.

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What's the difference between Jared Fogle's divorce and other divorces?

Most married couples tried to stay together FOR the kids. Not divorce because of them.

What did Jared Fogle say when his wife told him she wanted kids?

Me too*