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What are the first words Jared Fogle's girlfriend said to him?

Would you like to buy some girl scout cookies, sir?

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What did the plant say to the other plant that it really liked alot?

Let me be your *soil*mate

Where do bacteria like to vacation?

Germany

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Where does an octopus go to buy shoes?

Inke

Why is it hard to buy potatoes on the black market?

Because there are eyes everywhere!

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How do you tell the difference between a chemist and a plumber?

Ask them to say the word, "unionized".

What are the two words men hate most unless used together?

Don't Stop

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What do you call a fight between a Mexican and Jared Fogle?

Alien vs Predator.

Who loves fast food?

Jared Fogle