What came in the mail today?

Anthrax.

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How do skunks like their e-mails?

Scent.

What came in the mail today?

Anthrax.

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What did Mrs Revere say when Paul got on a gorilla to warn the farmers that the British were coming?

Paul stop monkeying around!

What do you call a smoothie that came out too thick?

A chunky. Credit to my dad this morning..

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What did God say to the alcoholic spelling bee judge?

Define intervention." Came up with this today at work.

Why do people love their smartphones so much?

Because opposites attract. (Told to me by 2 students today, loved it!)