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What did the fancy cat say when he wanted to leave?

Le meow

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Why did the old woman put roller skates on her rocking chair?

Because she wanted to rock and roll.

Why did the cowboy get a miniature dachshund?

He wanted to get a long little doggy.

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What's the worst thing you can do to a blind person?

Leave the plunger in the toilet.

How can you tell if your wife left you?

You get laid the same amount of times but the dishes start to pile up. Hey now!