What do you call a can after it completes college?

A graduated cylinder.

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Why couldn't the little mermaid get into college?

Her GPA was unda da C.

Where did the universe attend college?

At the university.

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What do you call a scientific measuring instrument with degrees?

A graduated cylinder. This is the only joke I've ever thought of.

What's the smartest piece of lab equipment?

A graduated cylinder.

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How many schoolteachers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Anything not completed during the lesson is added to the homework.

What is the difference between complete and finished?

If you find the right woman, you're complete.