Complete Jokes

What do you call a can after it completes college?

A graduated cylinder.

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What is the difference between complete and finished?

If you find the right woman, you're complete.

What did the author of The Lord of the Rings say after he completed his books?

If you like dialogue, theres a whole lot of Tolkein.

How many schoolteachers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Anything not completed during the lesson is added to the homework.

Why can't John complete a workout?

He tried, but it didn't work out.

What's in 65 days?

The blonde replies, "I completed the puzzle in 65 days! The box said 2 to 4 years!"

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Finish Jokes More Finish Jokes

What do I have in common with Franz Kafka?

Neither of us have finished The Castle.

Why does the NBA finish in June?

She likes it.

Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

Whats the difference between Mick Jagger and a Scottish farmer?

Mick Jagger sings eh you, get offa mai cloud, but the Scottish farmer says eh McLeod, get offa mai ewe!

Whats the difference between a coal mining company and the Catholic Church?

A coal mining company puts miners in shafts not the other way around.......

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

How does someone with amnesia tell a joke?

I don't remember.

What do you call a group of 8 hobbits?

A hobbyte Cortana told me that joke

Isis Jokes More Isis Jokes

What kind of wine does ISIS drink?

White Infidel.

What do ISIS want for Christmas?

Turkey, apparently.

Rate Jokes More Rate Jokes

What kind of movies do pirates watch?

ARRRR Rated Movies!

What kind of movie do mathematicians most often watch?

Rated movies

Hammer Jokes More Hammer Jokes

Why did the T-Rex get hammered at noon?

Because he's a Wino-saur!

How do you install "blackout curtains"?

They just get hammered.

Find Jokes More Find Jokes

Why did Tigger look down the toilet?

To find Pooh!

What do you call a projectile that is very good at finding friends?

A homie missile.

Remove Jokes More Remove Jokes

What did the Mexican do when he arrived in America?

Removed

How do you make a Sea Lion?

You remove an electron from a Seal!