Complete Jokes

What do you call a can after it completes college?

A graduated cylinder.

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

5.0

Coffee Mug

What is the difference between complete and finished?

If you find the right woman, you're complete.

What did the author of The Lord Of The Rings say after he completed his books?

If you like dialogue, theres a whole lot of Tolkein.

What did the samurai do...?

Q: What did the samurai do when he was dishonored by his inability to complete the crossword puzzle? A: He committed ritual sudoku.

How many schoolteachers does it take to change a light bulb?

None. Anything not completed during the lesson is added to the homework.

Why can't John complete a workout?

He tried, but it didn't work out.

Why was the track runner with low self-esteem able to complete the race even after being impaled by a stray javelin?

He didn't know he had it in him.

What's in 65 days?

The blonde replies, "I completed the puzzle in 65 days! The box said 2 to 4 years!"

You might also enjoy:

Tsa Jokes More Tsa Jokes

What is the TSA's favorite movie?

Inspection.

Why did the TSA hire a dentist?

To help with the cavity searches

Buy Jokes More Buy Jokes

What do you buy a recently neutered cat?

Spay Roses.

What did Mike Meyers say to Eddie Murphy after Eddie bought him a brand new Mercedes?

DANKE!

Change Jokes More Change Jokes

What happens to donkeys in the winter?

They change into brrrrrro's.

What do you get when you put a woman's face on a $10 bill?

2.23 in change.

Catholic Jokes More Catholic Jokes

What do you call a sleepwalking nun?

A roamin Catholic

How many Catholic priests does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

None, because little boys don't fit in a lightbulb.

Wanna Jokes More Wanna Jokes

How do you propose to a stoner?

Marriage, you wanna

How many ADD kids does it take to change a lightbulb?

Wanna ride bikes?

Liquor Store Jokes More Liquor Store Jokes

Where's a lesbian's favorite place to shop?

The Liquor store

What do you call ghosts that haunt liquor stores?

Spirits

World Jokes More World Jokes

How many Bernie supporters does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

One to hold the lightbulb, and the rest of the world to revolve around them

What is the best vegetable delivery vehicle in the world?

An ambulance

Poke Jokes More Poke Jokes

What's worse than a poke in the eye with a hot stick?

Nothing. Trust me.

Why did God make pubic hair curly?

So we don't poke our eyes out.