How many babies does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

I don't know... I broke the lightbulb after I threw the first one.

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What did the chef say when he noticed his scales were broken?

No weigh...

Why did the man break up with his girlfriend who had a lazy eye?

Because she was seeing somebody on the side.

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They start to fret.

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Don't know but its so scary that they drink for ten days straight right after!

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Need to know ASAP.

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Yarn.

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How many bodybuilders does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

It takes four. One to screw in the bulb, and three others to watch and say, "Really dude, you look huge!"

How many moths does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Just two, but more can join in if there's room in the lightbulb.

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Depends on how hard you throw them.

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I don't know, doesn't make any cents.

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Egyptian dummies.

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Babies, because you can use a pitchfork.