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What do you call a man who has lost 95% of his brainpower?

A widower.

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What did the balding German frau exclaim when her husband left her?

Ach! I tink I'm losing mein Herr!

Why did the mortgage broker go out of business?

Because he lost interest.

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How does a man cut his hair on the moon?

Eclipse it

How many men does it take to change a lightbulb?

Not all men.

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What do you call a man who has lost 95% of his brainpower?

A widower.

How many mystery writers does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Two: one to get it 95% done, and the second to give it the twist at the end.