What do you call always having a date for New Year's Eve?

Social Security.

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What do you call it when two bottles of lotion start dating?

A re-lotion-ship.

What are you doing?

Are you writing down everything I'm saying! IS THIS GONNA BE A SONG!!" -anyone dating Taylor Swift

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What song do pigs sing on New Year's Eve?

Auld Lang Swine.

What do you tell someone you didn't see at New Year's Eve?

I haven't seen you for a year!