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What do you do with a sick chemist?

If you can't helium, and you can't curium, then you might as well barium.

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Helium Jokes More Helium Jokes

Why do chemists call helium, curium, and barium 'the medical elements'?

Because, if you can't 'helium' or 'curium', you 'BARIUM'!

What happened to the guy who ingested helium?

He became enlightened.

Curium Jokes More Curium Jokes

Why are Curium, Helium, and Barium the medical elements?

Because if you can't Curium or Helium them, you Barium!

What do you do with a sick chemist?

If you can't helium, and you can't curium, then you might as well barium.