What do you do with an infected chemist?

You try to Curium. If that doesn't work and he dies, then Barium

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What's the last thing a drummer says in a band?

Hey guys, why don't we try one of my songs

What's it called when you try not to get knocked unconscious by a Taser?

Resisting a rest.

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Why did Miss Piggy call in sick to work?

Because she had a frog in her throat.

What did God say to the alcoholic spelling bee judge?

Define intervention." Came up with this today at work.

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Why are there fences around cemeteries?

People are dying to get in.

Why did the hamster die?

He just didn't have the wheel to live.

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What do you do with an infected chemist?

You try to Curium. If that doesn't work and he dies, then Barium

Why do scientists call Helium, Barium and Curium the medical elements?

Because if you can't Helium or Curium, You'd Barium!

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What do you do with a sick chemist?

If you can't helium, and you can't curium, then you might as well barium.

Why are Helium, Curium and Barium called the medical elements?

Because if you can't Helium or Curium, you Barium. (Heard it from Heimerdinger, League of Legends)