What do you tell your wife with two black eyes?

Nothing, you already told her twice.

This joke may have profanity.
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Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

What did Anakin Skywalker cry out as he lay dying and on fire?

Patme! Patme! Credit to my wife on this one

What do you get if you play a country music song backwards?

You get your wife back. Your house back. Your truck back. Your dog back...

Black Eye Jokes More Black Eye Jokes

What do you tell a women with a black eye?

Nothing, you already told her once.

What do you say to a woman with one black eye?

Nothing, you've already told her.