What do you tell your wife with two black eyes?

Nothing, you already told her twice.

This joke may have profanity.
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Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

Who did Alaska vote for?

Berrrnie Sanders H/T: wife

What does the husband say to his wife whose nose is bleeding?

Nothing, he already said it twice.

Black Eye Jokes More Black Eye Jokes

How'd you get a black eye?

Walked into a door. Later, another shiner More doors *nods* One does not simply walk into more doors.

What do you say to a woman with a black eye?

Nothing. She's already been told.