What do you tell someone you didn't see at New Year's Eve?

I haven't seen you for a year!

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How do you tell the difference between a meth head and a hillbilly?

The meth head still has teeth.

Why did the child have two black eyes?

Because telling them once wasn't enough.

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Why don't you see Santa for the rest of the year?

Because for the rest of the year he's in prison for breaking into people's houses.

What gives a gorilla good taste?

Four years in an Ivy League school!

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What do you tell someone you didn't see at New Year's Eve?

I haven't seen you for a year!

What do you call always having a date for New Year's Eve?

Social Security.