What happened to Voldemort's face?

Nobody nose.

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What if earth rotates 30 times faster?

Interviewer:"If the Earth rotates 30 times faster, what will happen?" engineer:"We will get our salary everyday" :D Think Greedily Act Confidently

What happened to the concussed gravedigger?

He lost the plot.

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How did the witches and wizards in the Alzheimer's ward refer to Voldemort?

You-knew-who

Why are all the ladies attracted to Voldemort?

Because of his hex appeal.