Why would Pinocchio make a bad criminal?

He wasn't cut out for this.

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How was the Roman Empire cut in two?

With a pair of Caesars.

How on earth can you defend a man like Adam Johnson?

It's easy, he's all left foot - just constantly show him down the right side and don't let him cut in.

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What did Cinderella say when she sat on Pinocchio's face?

Tell me a lie. Tell me the truth. Tell me a lie. Tell me the truth. Tell me a lie...

What do Justin Bieber and Pinocchio have in common?

Both want to be real boys