Voldemort Jokes

How does Voldemort seal his mail?

With his Parceltongue.

Couple's Daily Question Mug

Couple's Daily Question Mug

What do you call a bad riddle?

Voldemort

How did Voldemort look like when he was hiding in Albania?

Pretty gaunt

What would Voldemort name his pet tortoise?

Voldetort.

Why does Voldemort have flat face?

He ran into wrong wall at train station

What kind of shoes does Voldemort wear?

Hor-crocs.

What's the difference between Voldemort and Tyrion Lannister?

One had a horcrux, the other had a whorecrush..

How did the witches and wizards in the Alzheimer's ward refer to Voldemort?

You-knew-who

How can you tell Voldemort used the bathroom before you?

He leaves a dark mark

Why are all the ladies attracted to Voldemort?

Because of his hex appeal.

What happened to Voldemort's face?

Nobody nose.

I've Got a Whole Latte Jokes

I've Got a Whole Latte Jokes

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Mail Jokes More Mail Jokes

What is the difference between a dog and a mailbox?

If you don't know you must lose a lot of mail.

How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail?

Rename the mail folder to "instruction manuals"

Hide Jokes More Hide Jokes

How do you stop squirrels playing football in the garden?

Hide the ball it drives them nuts!

Why don't lawyers play hide-and-seek?

Nobody will look for them.

Shoe Jokes More Shoe Jokes

What shoes do roosters wear?

Chickenstocks

What's a kidnapper's favorite kind of shoes?

White Vans

Wizard Jokes More Wizard Jokes

Where do witches and wizards shop?

Voldemart.

How did the witches and wizards in the Alzheimer's ward refer to Voldemort?

You-knew-who

Train Station Jokes More Train Station Jokes

What do you get when you cross the ocean with a Train Station?

A Whale Way

Why does Voldemort have flat face?

He ran into wrong wall at train station

Seal Jokes More Seal Jokes

What do seal hunters and teens have in common?

They both love clubbin'

How do you make a Sea Lion?

You remove an electron from a Seal!

Use Jokes More Use Jokes

What font was used on Wyatt Earp's tombstone?

Sans Sheriff.

What do prisoners used to talk to each other in jail?

Cell Phones.

Harry Potter Jokes More Harry Potter Jokes

How does Harry Potter like his sandwiches to be cut?

Diagon alley

What did Harry Potter name his daughter?

Harry Daughter.