April Sale - 20% Off

Voldemort Jokes

How does Voldemort seal his mail?

With his Parceltongue.

I Love Pizza & You

I Love Pizza & You

What do you call a bad riddle?

Voldemort

How did Voldemort look like when he was hiding in Albania?

Pretty gaunt

What would Voldemort name his pet tortoise?

Voldetort.

Why does Voldemort have flat face?

He ran into wrong wall at train station

What if Voldemort's last horcrux was his virginity?

Then Harry Potter would have to destroy it ofcourse.

What kind of shoes does Voldemort wear?

Hor-crocs.

What's the difference between Voldemort and Tyrion Lannister?

One had a horcrux, the other had a whorecrush..

How did the witches and wizards in the Alzheimer's ward refer to Voldemort?

You-knew-who

How can you tell Voldemort used the bathroom before you?

He leaves a dark mark

Why are all the ladies attracted to Voldemort?

Because of his hex appeal.

Love Card

Love Card

What happened to Voldemort's face?

Nobody nose.

You might also enjoy:

Seal Jokes More Seal Jokes

What's your pleasure?

The seal replies, "Anything but Canadian Club."

What's the difference between a seal and a sea lion?

An ion!

Witch Jokes More Witch Jokes

Why did the witch keep turning people into Mickey Mouse?

She was having Disney spells.

What happened when the witch went for a job as a TV presenter?

The producer said she had the perfect face for radio.

Train Station Jokes More Train Station Jokes

Why does Voldemort have flat face?

He ran into wrong wall at train station

What do you get when you cross the ocean with a Train Station?

A Whale Way

Hide Jokes More Hide Jokes

What do you call a skeleton in a closet?

The hide and seek champion.

What do you call Jamal's dad during Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Years?

Hide n' Seek World Champion 2010-2016

Tyrion Lannister Jokes More Tyrion Lannister Jokes

What's the difference between Voldemort and Tyrion Lannister?

One had a horcrux, the other had a whorecrush..

How old is Tyrion Lannister?

Peter Dinkl-age

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

What should I tell him?

Doc says, "Tell him I can't see him today."

How do you tell the difference between a crocodile and an alligator?

You will see one later and one in a while.

Horcrux Jokes More Horcrux Jokes

What's the difference between Voldemort and Tyrion Lannister?

One had a horcrux, the other had a whorecrush..

Why couldn't Ron Weasley make a Horcrux?

Because you need a soul for that.

Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between a school and an ISIS training camp?

I don't know, i just fly the drone

What's the difference between you and an egg?

The egg actually gets laid!