Voldemort Jokes

How does Voldemort seal his mail?

With his Parceltongue.

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug
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What do you call a bad riddle?

Voldemort

How did voldemort look like when he was hiding in albania?

Pretty gaunt

What would Voldemort name his pet tortoise?

Voldetort.

Why does voldemort have flat face?

He ran into wrong wall at train station

What if Voldemort's last horcrux was his virginity?

Then Harry Potter would have to destroy it ofcourse.

What kind of shoes does Voldemort wear?

Hor-crocs.

What's the difference between Voldemort and Tyrion Lannister?

One had a horcrux, the other had a whorecrush..

How did the witches and wizards in the Alzheimer's ward refer to Voldemort?

You-knew-who

How can you tell Voldemort used the bathroom before you?

He leaves a dark mark

Why are all the ladies attracted to Voldemort?

Because of his hex appeal.

Couple's Daily Question Mug

Couple's Daily Question Mug
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What happened to Voldemort's face?

Nobody nose.

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Hide Jokes More Hide Jokes

Where do all the good boys go to hide away?

R/cringepics Based off Daya's song "Hide Away"

How do ants hide from aardvarks?

They disguise themselves as uncles!

Destroy Jokes More Destroy Jokes

When is it acceptable to not tip your server?

When your a system admin, and your server if tipped could destroy many websites.

What happened after the King of All Cosmos destroyed the stars in a drunken rage?

Divine intervention. edit: Oh.

Look Jokes More Look Jokes

What did the blonde say when she looked down at her bowl of Cheerios?

Look, donut seeds!

What's black &amp grey and also looks good on a cop?

The World Trade Center

Train Station Jokes More Train Station Jokes

What do you get when you cross the ocean with a Train Station?

A Whale Way

Why does voldemort have flat face?

He ran into wrong wall at train station

Witch Jokes More Witch Jokes

What goes cackle cackle boom?

A witch in a minefield.

Where do witches and wizards shop?

Voldemart.

Wear Jokes More Wear Jokes

What's it called when a fedora wearing neckbeard gets sick?

M'alady

Why do blondes wear their hair up?

To catch everything that goes over their heads.

Mail Jokes More Mail Jokes

When is it okay for monks to use e-mail?

When there are no attachments

Why did the worlds shortest feminist burn down a post shop?

Because the mail was always above her.

Kind Jokes More Kind Jokes

What kind of computer says "Hello"?

A Dell

What kind of dough do Hobbit bakers use?

Frodough.