What happens when the USSR gets back together?

A Soviet Reunion.

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What happens when an American has a heart attack and survives?

A 'murical.

What happens when you die?

Me: You go to heaven. 4: No, I mean when you die, do I get your stuff

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What does a Russian use to wipe their mouth?

A soviet

Why didn't anyone drive stick in Soviet Russia?

They were afraid of Stalin.

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What did Gorbachev say when the USSR collapsed?

So ve it.

Why did the USSR have so many lower case letters?

Because they aren't capitalist