Why didn't anyone drive stick in Soviet Russia?

They were afraid of Stalin.

Why did Tony cross the road?

To get to the other side. He then turned around, stuck up his middle finger and said, "Hah, you were all expecting a joke, and all you got was an Anthony joke!"

What kind of tiles can't you stick on walls?

Reptiles!

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Why is Edward Snowden still in Russia?

The airport is Snowden

Why can't the NSA leaker leave Russia?

Because he's Snow'd-in!

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What do you think about the Russian military intervention in Krimea?

I think they're just Stalin. If they are, soviet, as long as they're Putin their weapons away.

How do Soviet prison mates greet each other?

Gulag to you too.

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Why did the Russians use peanuts for torture in the Cold War?

Because in Soviet Russia, Nut Cracks You!

Why didn't anyone drive stick in Soviet Russia?

They were afraid of Stalin.