What is hard, long, and full of seamen?

A submarine

This joke may have profanity.

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What's long, hard, and full of seamen?

A submarine.

Why did the seamen cross the road?

Because I wore the wrong pair of socks this morning.

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What goes over the water, and under the water, but stays dry?

Jesus in a submarine.

What do Windows and a submarine have in common?

If you open the windows in a submarine, your problems will begin.