Submarine Jokes

What do fish call a submarine?

Unidentified Floating Object

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What do Windows and a submarine have in common?

If you open the windows in a submarine, your problems will begin.

What do you call a dog in a submarine?

A subwoofer

What goes over the water, and under the water, but stays dry?

Jesus in a submarine.

What's long, hard, and full of seamen?

A submarine.

What's long and hard and full of "SEE-MEN"?

A submarine, obviously.

What do you call an underwater masochist?

A submarine!

What do you call a marine who can't swim?

A submarine.

What did the calculus teacher tell the crew of his submarine while they were diving?

Derive, derive, derive!

What can walk over the water, but can travel under the water without getting wet?

Jesus in a submarine.

Where does the Navy rank amongst the armed forces?

Submarines.

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What do you call a dog riding in a submarine?

A subwoofer.

What did the sardine call the submarine?

A can of people!

Why did the Naval Inspector fail the submarine?

Because he found it to be SUB-standard.

What buzzes is black and yellow and goes along the bottom of the sea?

A bee in a submarine!

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Similarity Jokes More Similarity Jokes

What is the similarities between Bernie Madoff and Atoms?

They both make up everything!

What's the similarity of the World Series and Lorde?

They'll never be royals

Marine Jokes More Marine Jokes

What do you call a marine with an IQ of 70?

General

How do you know that one of them is a Marine?

Don't worry he'll let you know

Swim Jokes More Swim Jokes

Why do the sharks only swim in salt water?

Because they would sneeze in pepper water.

Why did Matthew Arnold go swimming before writing Dover Beach?

Before writing the poem, he felt he had to do some sole-searching.

Sink Jokes More Sink Jokes

What do you call a boat with a hole?

A sink.

Why did the boat know it had a leak?

That sinking feeling...

Travel Jokes More Travel Jokes

How to fleas travel?

Itch hiking!

What's the difference between a guy with carry on luggage and a photon?

The guy overpacked, and the photon is traveling light.

Sweden Jokes More Sweden Jokes

What do you call immigrants in Sweden?

Swede-ish

Why did Sweden start painting barcodes on the sides of their battleships?

So they could Scandinavian.

Dog Jokes More Dog Jokes

What do you call a dog without front legs?

Chester.

What do you get when you cross an agnostic, dyslexic, and an insomniac?

Some one who stays up all night wondering if there's a dog.

Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between life and wife's rant?

Life eventually ends.

What's the difference between an introverted physicist and an extroverted physicist?

An extroverted physicist looks at shoes when they're talking to you.