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What is he doing now?

Friend: "Nothing" Me: "But I thought he got the job! " Friend: "Yes he did."

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Think Jokes More Think Jokes

Why did the dog's friends send her home from the bar when she started to act strange?

They thought she might have been slipped a woofie.

Why didn't Santa give presents to any world leaders?

Because he thinks they're part of the illumi-naughty

Friend Jokes More Friend Jokes

How did the emu feel when his friends disowned him for being too big?

Ostrich-sized.

Why is Joey Tribbiani a presenter on Top Gear?

It makes no sense, he's not a good driver, he and all his friends are always stuck in second gear

Job Jokes More Job Jokes

How to get a job on Game of Thrones: Q: Can you act?

Sorta Q: Will you get naked A: Yes HIRED!

What is the job of a gentleman pimp?

To Tally-hos!