What is he doing now?

Friend: "Nothing" Me: "But I thought he got the job! " Friend: "Yes he did."

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Think Jokes More Think Jokes

When you're away on a business trip, do you think about me?

Apparently "Only to stop myself from coming too quickly" wasn't the right answer.

What did the vertebrate say to the invertebrate?

Always thought you was a bit spineless.

Friend Jokes More Friend Jokes

What's the worst part about admitting to your friends and family you play PokemanGo?

Having to admit you have autism:,P

Why did one friend not get any?

He didn't get his fair share: one over eight.

Job Jokes More Job Jokes

What job pays you to shoot people but not harm them?

A photographer.

How can that help in this job?

You do the math