What is the best way to follow a lost dog's paw prints?

With a track-tor!

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Why did Verizon's mailman get fired?

He was losing packets.

How did the witch almost lose her baby?

She didn't take it far enough into the woods.

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What is a water bottle's favorite game to play?

Follow the litre.

What's the difference between a blonde and a washer?

When you dump your load in a washer, it doesn't follow you around for a week.

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What's the best way to accelerate a Mac?

9.81 m/s2

What is the best way to find out if someone is ticklish?

Use your test tickles