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What's going on in this movie?

Him: Lin, I just hit play 90 seconds ago. Me: Wow! New record.

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Why doesn't Gabe Newell play basketball?

Because he can't make 3's

What do you call a Steer playing with itself?

Beef Stroganoff

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What's round and black and blue?

A blueberry that occasionally gets hit by her husband

What does Joaquin Phoenix say when a car almost hits him?

Hey! I'm Joaquin here!

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What time is our movie tonight?

Me: 7:30. It's 2 hours 50 minutes Hub: WHAT! I CANT STAY UP TILL 10:30 "Back off ladies. He's mine"

What movie contains the most micro aggressions?

Ant Man