What's the best thing about being a meth head?

1 sleep until Christmas.

This joke may have profanity.

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What does a lion at the beach have in common with Christmas?

They both have Sandy Claws.

Why do people get divorced in the holiday season?

Because they Marry Christmas!

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Why did the vulture fly United Airlines?

Because they allow 1 free carrion

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Only a Canadian could get a #1 on Billboard with a song called Sorry.

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What is the best thing about duct tape?

It turns no no no into mm mm mmmm.

What's the best thing about being a Cubs fan?

Not being from Detroit.

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