What's the best thing about being a meth head?

1 sleep until Christmas.

This joke may have profanity.
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What is the black kid getting for Christmas?

Your T.V.

What's a ghosts favourite Christmas entertainment?

A phantomime!

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How many French horn players does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

100, 1 to screw it in and 99 to say how they could do it better.

How many teenagers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

It takes 1 to screw it in, and 99 to tweet about it.

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What's the best thing to have in a hairy situation?

A razor.

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Your teeth!

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How do you know you're on the phone with a meth head?

When comcast puts them on hold and they don't hang up

Why do meth heads love Halloween?

Three sleeps 'till Christmas!