What's the difference between a chickpea and a garbanzo bean?

I wouldn't pay $300 to have a garbanzo bean in my mouth

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What's 6 inches long, 2 inches wide and drives your girlfriend wild?

A $100 bill.

What's the difference between a green lentil and a chickpea?

I wouldn't pay $200 to have a green lentil on my face.

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What's the difference between a chickpea and a garbanzo bean...?

I've never had a garbanzo bean on my chest.

What's the difference between a garbanzo beans and a chickpea?

I've never had a garbanzo bean on my face before.

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How do you know when a politician is lying?

Their mouth is moving.

Why did the hipster burn his mouth?

He sipped his drink before it was cool