Which insurance company does Bernie Sanders use?

Progressive.

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Why don't hypochondriacs... Why don't hypochondriacs use lighters?

They're afraid of catching fire!

What did the blonde do when she noticed that someone had already written on the overhead transparency?

She turned it over and used the other side.

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Which insurance company does Bernie Sanders use?

Progressive.

What did the insurance company say to the applicant?

THIS ISN'T EVEN MY FINAL FORM!

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How do you know Bernie Sanders got elected?

All your stuff has been donated to charity

What is Bernie Sanders' LEAST favorite band?

SWV (sisters with voices)