Which part of the Bible won't you find a black man?

The Book of Job.

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Who took my username?

When I find you, well, you'll be sorry!

Why did the boy peek down the toilet bowl?

He was trying to find Winnie the Pooh.

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Why did the black man walk backwards?

I have no idea, Your Honor, but he was coming right at me and I felt my life was at risk.

Whats the difference between a dead baby and a black man?

A dead baby can feed a family of four

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What job did the farmer give to his learning-disabled child?

Herder

What is your opinion on women making 75% of a man's wages for the same job?

I said "Congratulations!!!"

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What was the first mention of soccer in the bible?

When Jesus went up for the cross.

What's long and thick and turns conservative women on?

The Bible

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How did the potato get back from the party?

It booked a Tuber.

What book do you like the most?

Woman: "My husband's checkbook."