Who let the docs out?

Google. Google docs.

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Where do I see myself in ten years?

I don't know. Let me think. *pictures self riding jet ski made of bones through space*

What happened to the boy-band member who dropped the soap In the prison shower?

Let's just say that his backstreet went more than one direction.

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Which internet search engine does Chandler from Friends use?

Google, like everybody does.

What do Intel, Google, Uber, eBay, McDonalds, Budweiser, AT&T, Oracle, Disney, Boeing, IBM and Apple have in common?

Immigrants

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Why are YOU afraid?

Doc: I'm not Me: You said you were Doc: I lied. You got a month. HAPPY NOW

What did the grad students call the new Asian post-doc?

The Yellow Fellow.