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Who survives?

America.

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America Jokes More America Jokes

What happened to the T?

America: "We threw it in the Harbor!"

What's the difference between a star and America?

The star has a bright future.

Survive Jokes More Survive Jokes

What do u call a Mexican who survives a shootout and lives to tell the tale?

The Juan who lived.

What do you call a soldier who survives Mustard gas and pepper spray?

A seasoned veteran.