Who survives?

America.

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America Jokes More America Jokes

Where did the pilgrims land when they came to America?

On their feet!

What's the difference between America and a tub of yogurt?

After 200 years the yogurt would have developed some kind of culture.

Survive Jokes More Survive Jokes

How are college students like plants?

They both need natural light to survive!

What do you call a soldier who's survived mustard gas and pepper spray?

A seasoned veteran.