Why are ducks always sad?

Because of their bills

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Duck Jokes More Duck Jokes

What do you call a duck being kidnapped?

An abduction. I'll quietly leave through this conveniently placed door.

Why do ducks have webbed feet?

To stamp out forest fires!

Bill Jokes More Bill Jokes

What did the duck say to the cashier after buying some red lipstick?

Just put it on my bill.

Why do women live longer than men?

Shopping never causes heart attacks, but paying the bill does!