Why are these Facebook status updates so much more interesting than usual?

Oh, because this isn't Facebook - it's a mattress label. My bad.

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Bad Jokes More Bad Jokes

What's the worst part about making out with a perfect 10?

The cold feeling on your lips when you realize you're kissing the mirror

What's the worst part about swim-up bars?

The watery stools

Facebook Jokes More Facebook Jokes

What's the alien version of Facebook?

Spacebook. (It's a terrible joke I know).

A man asks a trainer in the gym: "I want to impress that beautiful girl, which machine can I use?"

Trainer replies: "Use the ATM"