Why is it hard to explain puns to kleptomaniacs?

They always take things literally.

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Pun Jokes More Pun Jokes

Why aren't puns called pows?

It is a play on words, after all

What does a cow use to solve math problems?

A *cow*culater. I made it up myself, so don't groan at the pun.

Thing Jokes More Thing Jokes

Whats the first thing a woman does when she gets to the battered shelter?

The dishes if she knows whats good for her.

Why aren't you doing very well in history?

Because the teacher keeps asking about things that happened before I was born!

Explain Jokes More Explain Jokes

Who laughs the last?

The one who you have to explain the joke to.

How many politicians does it take to change a lightbulb?

Just two. One to explain to the public that everything possible is being done to solve the problem, and the other to screw the lightbulb into the water faucet.