Why cant Schizophrenics be alcoholics?

Because they never drink alone.

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Drink Jokes More Drink Jokes

Why do ISIS fighters only drink instant coffee?

Because they hate the French Press. (This joke used to be more topical)

Why did the Udon noodles stop drinking?

They wanted to be Soba... I heard that a few days ago and wanted to share it.

Schizophrenic Jokes More Schizophrenic Jokes

Why cant Schizophrenics be alcoholics?

Because they never drink alone.

Alcoholic Jokes More Alcoholic Jokes

What do a necrophiliac and an alcoholic have in common?

They both like to crack open a cold one

What do you call a man who's always in high spirits?

An alcoholic.