Why cant Schizophrenics be alcoholics?

Because they never drink alone.

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When your prescription says "DO NOT DRINK ALCOHOL WHILE TAKING THIS" how many beers are you really allowed to have?

6

What do toads drink?

Croaka-cola!

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Why cant Schizophrenics be alcoholics?

Because they never drink alone.

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What do an alcoholic and a necrophile have in common?

They both like to crack open a cold one.

How are an alcoholic and necrophiliac similar?

Both enjoy cracking open a cold one.