Schizophrenic Jokes

What do you call a schizophrenic in a white dress?

Your Holiness.

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Why cant Schizophrenics be alcoholics?

Because they never drink alone.

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Hear Jokes More Hear Jokes

What will they ask Jared of Subway in the prison shower?

Do you want a 6 or a 12 inch one?' I heard this joke on Bill Burr's podcast.

Why did Hank Hill join an S&ampM club?

He heard they were Pro-Pain.

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

Why do women make such horrible capenters?

Because for years men have telling them that ---------------- is 8 inches long.

How can you tell if a dinosaur is visiting your house?

His tricycle will be parked outside.

Christmas Jokes More Christmas Jokes

Why are steam trains naughty around Christmas?

They're hoping Santa will give them a lump of coal.

What did the blind, deaf, mute quadraplegic boy get for Christmas?

Cancer.

Friend Jokes More Friend Jokes

What do you call a frisbee that's more than a friend?

Frisbae

What does an excited karate pupil say to his friend when greeting him?

HIYAH!

Think Jokes More Think Jokes

What did the baker say when he saw the beautiful woman?

I think I'm in loaf." Ba dum, tss.

How was that racist?

Me: I said "not to be racist" you must be sicker than I thought

Happen Jokes More Happen Jokes

What happens if you play tabletennis with a bad egg?

First it goes ping then it goes pong.

What happened to the lost cattle?

Nobody's herd.

Charge Jokes More Charge Jokes

How much will that be?

Asks the neutron. "For you " replies the bartender, "no charge."

What do pirate farmers charge for their corn?

A buccaneer

Psychiatrist Jokes More Psychiatrist Jokes

What did the Psychiatrist say to the man who walked in wearing nothing but plastic wrap?

I can clearly see ur nuts.

What did the psychiatrist say to the crazy naked guy wrapped in cellophane?

Clearly, I can see your nuts.