Schizophrenic Jokes

Why cant Schizophrenics be alcoholics?

Because they never drink alone.

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Psychiatrist Jokes More Psychiatrist Jokes

Why can't you hear a psychiatrist using the bathroom?

Because the 'p' is silent.

How many psychiatrists dose it take to change a light bulb?

One, but the light bulb has to want to change.

Let Jokes More Let Jokes

Who were the shortest people in the Bible?

Let's see. There'sKneehighmiah, Bildad the Shoe-Height...oh, and Peter, who said, "Silver andgold I have none," and no one could be much shorter than that.

What's better, Google or Yahoo?

Let's Google it.

Charge Jokes More Charge Jokes

How does a penman make his living?

He charges a calligra-fee of course!

What did the failing kidney say to the healthy one?

Urine charge now.

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

How do you tell the difference between a scientist and a plumber?

Ask them to pronounce unionized.

Why don't people tell Jim Jones jokes?

The punchline is too long.

Christmas Jokes More Christmas Jokes

What is the difference between the Christmas alphabet and the ordinary alphabet?

The Christmas alphabet has NO EL.

Why was Santa sacked two days before Christmas?

Elf and safety

Alcoholic Jokes More Alcoholic Jokes

What should you never do in front of an alcoholic?

Whine.

What do an alcoholic and a necrophile have in common?

They both like to crack open a cold one.

Think Jokes More Think Jokes

How do you find out if the cat is dead or alive in the Schrodinger's cat paradox?

By thinking outside the box

What did the seal say to the walrus after dating him for three months?

I think we should sea otter people.

Drink Jokes More Drink Jokes

Where do graphic designers go for a drink?

CGI Friday's

What do you call a self help book for a Country Music singer?

Drink, Pray, Truck