Schizophrenic Jokes

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Double Jokes More Double Jokes

Why did Muhammad hire Moses to help with his start-up?

He wanted to double his prophets.

Why are the best accountants twins from Prague?

Because they always double Czech their work!

Holiness Jokes More Holiness Jokes
Head Jokes More Head Jokes

Why doesn't a rooster wear underwear?

Becuase his peckers on his head

How do you cure a headache?

Put your head through a window and the pane will just disappear!

Friend Jokes More Friend Jokes

How did the turtle call his friends?

On his shellphone

What language do pirates speak?

Arrrrrrabic! A friend and I were extremely high and he thought of this.Good times.

Christmas Jokes More Christmas Jokes

What would've happened if Jesus Christ didn't make Christmas?

It would've just been "mas".

What does a cat in the desert and Christmas have in common?

They both have Sandy Claws.

Psychiatrist Jokes More Psychiatrist Jokes

How does a psychiatrist like his sausages?

Freud

How many psychiatrists does it take to change a lightbulb?

One, but only if the lightbulb really to change.

Alcoholic Jokes More Alcoholic Jokes

What do you call a man who's always in high spirits?

An alcoholic.

How many alcoholics does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb, and one to drink until the room starts spinning.

Charge Jokes More Charge Jokes

Why was the Energizer Bunny in court?

Because it was charged with battery.

How the does man give his dead batteries away?

Free of charge, of course.