Why did Shrodinger's girlfriend dump him?

Because she didn't like his lack of commitment

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What do Anna Nicole Smith and Tom Brady have in common?

They both like saggy balls.

What do troll mathematicians like to solve?

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How did Jared lose 40lbs?

He dumped his girlfriend.

What is the first nursery rhyme blondes learn in primary school?

A. Hump me dump me!!

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What did the tomato say to the ear of corn?

Nothing, as tomatoes lack any ability to communicate.

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Why did the psych ward escapee never get married?

He had a fear of commitment

Why did Shrodinger's girlfriend dump him?

Because she didn't like his lack of commitment