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Why did the chicken get sent off?

For persistent fowl play!

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Why did the punk cross the road?

He was safety-pinned to the chicken.

Why did Mozart hate chickens?

Because they all they ever say is Bach! Bach! Bach!

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What shall we do with all these letters begging for money?

The woman asks her husband. "Keep sending them!"

What did the terrorist send in the mail?

A CAIR package.