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Why did the marble countertop leave the kitchen?

It was tired of being taken for granite.

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Leave Jokes More Leave Jokes

What's your heigth and position?

Pilot: Well I'm 6 foot tall and I'm sitting front left.

Why did the Carpenters wife leave him?

Because he was screwing around.

Granite Jokes More Granite Jokes

Why does nobody like a rich stone?

Because he takes everything for granite.

Why did the stoneworker get fired?

Because he took his job for granite

Kitchen Jokes More Kitchen Jokes

Why can't women ski?

There's no snow between the kitchen and the bedroom.

What do you call it when a Catholic renovates his kitchen?

A counter reformation.