Granite Jokes

Why doesn't the stone vendor value money?

Because he takes it for granite.

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Why did the geologist get divorced?

He took his wife for granite.

What is the best thing about Dwane "the rock" Johnson's physique?

Nobody takes him for granite.

Why did the marble countertop leave the kitchen?

It was tired of being taken for granite.

What did the limestone say to the geologist?

Don't take me for granite!

Why did Mrs. Quartz divorce Mr. Quartz?

He took her for granite.

Why did the Limestone feel unappreciated?

Because he thought people were taking him for granite.

Why do we never take the time to thank mislabeled concrete?

It's mistaken for granite.

Why did the geologist quit his job?

His boss always took him for granite.

Why is Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson always so sad?

Everyone takes him for granite.

What was the under-appreciated, often-exploited kitchen contractor's complaint?

I'm always taken for granite!

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Why does nobody like a rich stone?

Because he takes everything for granite.

Why did the stoneworker get fired?

Because he took his job for granite.

Why was the slab of marble upset?

He was tired of everyone mistaking him for granite.

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What do you call a woman who is paralyzed from the waist down?

Wife.

What did the sniper say to his wife when he came back from work?

I missed you

Geologist Jokes More Geologist Jokes

What did the geologist say to his girlfriend before shagging her?

I am going to make the bedrock.

Why did the geologist quit his job?

His boss always took him for granite.

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What do you get when Steve Jobs hires and fires a lot of people in six months?

An Apple turnover.

Why did the grocery delivery guy get fired?

He drove people bananas!

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Why is Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson always so sad?

Everyone takes him for granite.

Why did Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson have to change his diet?

Because his nutritionist said he had too many minerals in his system!

Dwayne Jokes More Dwayne Jokes

Why is Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson always so sad?

Everyone takes him for granite.

Why did Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson have to change his diet?

Because his nutritionist said he had too many minerals in his system!

Money Jokes More Money Jokes

What's a Catholic's favorite way to send money?

PayPal

Where does a polar bear keep his money?

In a snow bank.

Limestone Jokes More Limestone Jokes

What did the limestone say to the geologist?

Don't take me for granite!

Why did the Limestone feel unappreciated?

Because he thought people were taking him for granite.

People Jokes More People Jokes

Why are the mountains in Switzerland called "the Alps"?

Because when people fall off of 'em, they yell AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLPPPP!!!!!!!!

How do you determine which of two people is a chemist and which is a plumber?

One of them makes crack while the other just markets it.