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Johnson Jokes

What is the best thing about Dwane "the rock" Johnson's physique?

Nobody takes him for granite.

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Why did Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson have to change his diet?

Because his nutritionist said he had too many minerals in his system!

Why are there so many Johnson in he phone book?

They all have phones.

What did Masters say to Johnson?

I don't know what the worlds coming to

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Vegetable Jokes More Vegetable Jokes

What kinda vegetables like to party?

Lettuce turnip da beet!

What did Michael Jackson say to the Vegetables?

Just beet it

Hit Jokes More Hit Jokes

Why was the mushroom a hit at parties?

Because he was a

Whats the difference between a North Korean missile and a K-Pop singer?

The singer can have a hit

Rock Johnson Jokes More Rock Johnson Jokes

Why is Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson always so sad?

Everyone takes him for granite.

Why did Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson have to change his diet?

Because his nutritionist said he had too many minerals in his system!

Master Jokes More Master Jokes

Why did everybody where white pants at The Masters?

Dustin Johnson sneezed.

What did Masters say to Johnson?

I don't know what the worlds coming to

Animal Jokes More Animal Jokes

What animal is two animals at the same time?

The Cat: because is a cat and a spider :)... oh, wait.

What animal has five legs?

A pitbull returning from a playground.

Rain Jokes More Rain Jokes

Why do owls not mate when it's raining?

Toowet Towoo

What kind of coat does a vampire wear in the rain?

A wet one.

Bird Jokes More Bird Jokes

What do you get if you cross an owl with a witch?

A bird that's ugly but doesn't give a hoot!

What is the definition of Robin?

A bird who steals!

Phone Book Jokes More Phone Book Jokes

What do phone books and women have in common?

They both couldn't vote before 1920

Why don't they have phone books in China?

Because everyone uses the Internet to look up phone numbers or people don't have landlines anymore and cell phone numbers aren't listed in the phone book. Also people use social media to communicate and connect with people.