Marble Jokes

What's the difference between a truck full of marbles and a truck full of babies?

You can't unload a truck full of marbles with a pitchfork.

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Why was the little boy speaking gibberish?

Because he lost his marbles.

Why couldn't Jesus play marbles?

Because they kept falling through his hands.

What do you do with old cannon balls?

Give them to elephants to use as marbles!

Why was the slab of marble upset?

He was tired of everyone mistaking him for granite.

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Kitchen Jokes More Kitchen Jokes

Where is Victoria working now?

In the kitchen.

Why did the pig walk into the kitchen?

Because he felt like bacon.

David Jokes More David Jokes

Who's on first?

David." "Cool." -Abbott and Costello's first draft

Did you hear that David lost his ID in Prague?

Now we just have to call him Dav.

Baby Jokes More Baby Jokes

What's in your mom's tummy?

5-year-old: A baby. Woman: What kind of baby 5-year-old: A human one. Nailed it.

Why did the Polish couple decide to have only 4 children?

They'd read in the newspaper that one out of every five babies born in the world today is Chinese.

Mistake Jokes More Mistake Jokes

Why is ur wife shouting at you?

Friend: she told me to upload her photo in FB, I uploaded in OLX... Mistakes do happen

What's your biggest weakness?

Interviewee: "I never learn from my mistakes" Interviewer: "Oh, why's that " Interviewee: "I never make any"

Lose Jokes More Lose Jokes

Where should you go if you lost a corner?

To the Eagles, they can get corner-backs.

What did the Metis people think of the look on Stephen Harper's face when he lost the election?

They though it was Riel funny!

Leave Jokes More Leave Jokes

What does a ship weigh when she leaves for a journey?

Anchor.

How come the stadium got hot after the game?

Because all of the fans left.

9 Year Old Jokes More 9 Year Old Jokes

What kind of turns do letters take?

U-turns! *From my 9 year old son yesterday. Fixed typo.

What is a rocket's favorite meal?

Launch! Another one from my 9 year old.

Granite Jokes More Granite Jokes

Why was the slab of marble upset?

He was tired of everyone mistaking him for granite.

What did the limestone say to the geologist?

Don't take me for granite!