Why is it hard to explain puns to kleptomaniacs?

They always take things literally.

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Pun Jokes More Pun Jokes

Whats the problem with tainted money?

It taint yours and it taint mine :D (Puns for the win :D)

Why can't you tell puns to a kleptomaniac?

Because they take everything literally (p.s. you can steal this joke if you want)

Thing Jokes More Thing Jokes

What's the thing that is about 5-6 inches long, it goes into mouth and when you rub it back and forth it produces a white liquid?

A toothbrush.

What's the difference between astronomy and gastronomy?

Astronomy is about things too big to wrap your head around, while gastronomy is about things small enough to wrap your head around.

Explain Jokes More Explain Jokes

Why do you look so sad?

Boy explains his whole problem Girl: Oh, that's why you didn't notice my nail paint

What does a German say when you finally explain a funny meme to him?

Danke