Why is an executioner a terrible high-fiver?

He always leaves you hanging

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Why did the hipster otter leave his hometown river?

It was too mainstream

Why couldn't the ex-CIA agent leave Russia?

Because he was Snowden

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Why do mycologists have such a good time?

Because they hang around the fungi.

What do you call a mushroom with a 12 in stem?

A fungi to hang out with

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Why is an executioner a terrible high-fiver?

He always leaves you hanging