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Executioner Jokes

Why is an executioner a terrible high-fiver?

He always leaves you hanging

We've Got This Love Thing Down

We've Got This Love Thing Down

How did the executioner learn about knots?

By watching the noose.

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Post Jokes More Post Jokes

Why shouldn't you write with a broken pencil?

It's pointless just like this post

What's the opposite of Christopher Reeves?

Christopher Walken. (Not sure if it's a repost, but I don't think I've seen it posted here.)

Watch Jokes More Watch Jokes

How many bodybuilders does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

It takes four. One to screw in the bulb, and three others to watch and say, "Really dude, you look huge!"

What kind of movie do mathematicians most often watch?

Rated movies

Prisoner Jokes More Prisoner Jokes

What do prisoners used to talk to each other in jail?

Cell Phones.

What do prisoners use to call each other?

Cell phones.

Coffee Jokes More Coffee Jokes

Which southeast Asian drink is more popular, the iced tea or the coffee?

Neither. It's a Thai.

What do you call a poodle that serves coffee?

A Bark-ista! I said a bark-ista Coral.

Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

What are you doing tonight?

Your wife.

What can I get for you?

Me: Steak, please. W: How would you like that cooked M: By anyone other than my wife

Head Jokes More Head Jokes

How's your head?

Don't reply with "No man has ever complained."

How do you stop a woman giving you head?

Marry her.

Shock Jokes More Shock Jokes

Who's there! Alec! Alec who?

Alec-tricity. Isn't that a shock!

Why do you wanna work at Clickbait Enterprises?

Here's 10 reasons why I should get the job "ok" Number 7 will shock you "You're hired"

Rdadjoke Jokes More Rdadjoke Jokes

Why can't humans hear a dog whistle?

Because dogs can't whistle. (X-post from r/dadjokes)

What do you call an imp that is rushes to the hospital?

Impatient OC from r/dadjokes