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How did the executioner learn about knots?

By watching the noose.

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What Do the Joker and 60,000,000 people have in common?

They just wanna watch the world burn

Who isn't allowed to watch PG movies?

Orphans.

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What's accounting?

Something Italians learn in preschool.

Why does it take pirates so long to learn the alphabet?

They're stuck at C for years

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How did the executioner learn about knots?

By watching the noose.

Why is an executioner a terrible high-fiver?

He always leaves you hanging

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How do you stop an elephant going through the eye of a needle?

By tying a knot on its tail.

What type of knot do you tie in space?

An astronaut.

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What do you call a married knot?

Monotonous. Bonus answer from my wife: a noose.

What did they suicidal news reporter say when they went on air?

Lets get right into the noose.