Noose Jokes

Whats the difference between a noose and a leash?

How high you tie it on a tree.

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How did the executioner learn about knots?

By watching the noose.

What do you call a married knot?

Monotonous. Bonus answer from my wife: a noose.

Why was the actor pleased to be on the gallows?

Because at last he was in the noose.

What did they suicidal news reporter say when they went on air?

Lets get right into the noose.

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Air Jokes More Air Jokes

What's hairy and flies through the air?

Jonathan Livingstone Gorilla!

What is dead on its back, 100 feet in the air?

A dead centipede.

Pingu Jokes More Pingu Jokes

What's Pingu's favourite band?

Slipnoot.

Finger Jokes More Finger Jokes

What's your strongest trait?

My fingers. "No, like... Are you pinching me " GIVE ME fighting to maintain pinch THE JOB

What kind of monster can sit on the end of your finger?

The bogeyman.

Leash Jokes More Leash Jokes

Whats the difference between a noose and a leash?

How high you tie it on a tree.

What do you call a pig on a leash?

Pulled Pork

Black Guy Jokes More Black Guy Jokes

When black guys say "ya feel me?

I literally feel them so they know exactly what level of white I'm operating at.

What is long and hard for a black guy?

Third grade

Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

What did my wife say to me?

I want a divorce

Why do people keep a picture of their wife and kids in their wallet?

To remind them why there's no money in it

Gallow Jokes More Gallow Jokes

Why was the actor pleased to be on the gallows?

Because at last he was in the noose.

Apple Jokes More Apple Jokes

Why did Jon Snow wait in line at the Apple store?

For the watch.

Who's there! Apple! Apple who?

Apple the door myself!