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Prisoner Jokes

What do you call it when you admit to being a prisoner?

A con-fession.

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What do prisoners used to talk to each other in jail?

Cell Phones.

Why did all the prisoners at the AT&T jail escape?

Because they had no bars on their cells!

What's the most unfortunate name a prisoner can have?

Neil.

What do you get if you cross a gorilla and a prisoner?

A Kong - vict!

Why did the prisoners switch to liquid soap in the shower?

Because it's harder to pick up.

What do you call it when a prisoner takes his own mugshot?

A Cellfie.

Why did all the prisoners at the AT&ampT jail escape?

Because they had no bars on their cells!

Why did you steal that bird?

Prisoner: For a lark sir.

What do prisoners use to call each other?

Cell phones.

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People Jokes More People Jokes

How do you call a party with people who have epilepsy?

Foam fest

Whatcha watching?

Me: Tiny Houses. 9: Wow it's tiny! Who's gonna live there Me: Two people. 9: Are they married Me: Not for long.

Orphanage Jokes More Orphanage Jokes

What's the difference between a terrorist training camp and an orphanage?

Terrorists blow them selves up at camp on accident

Whats the difference between a terrorist training camp and an orphanage?

I don't know I just fly the drone.

Escape Jokes More Escape Jokes

How did the tiger escape from the zoo without being spotted?

Tigers have stripes.

Why'd the crazy guy jump out of the hot air balloon's basket?

He wanted to escape from the ballooney bin.

Decide Jokes More Decide Jokes

What do you mean he's your half son?

What do you mean what do I mean?" replied the man. He went on to explain "My son has half my genes, that makes him my half-son." The woman he was talking to decided he was crazy and without replying walked past him. She looked back and noticed his neck was red, after all it was a sunny day.

Why did it take the computer so long to decide whether it wanted to buy an Egyptian cotton sheet?

Because it had too many threads.

Shower Jokes More Shower Jokes

Why did the programmer die in the shower?

He followed the shampoo instructions.

Why did the leper return to the shower?

He forgot his head and shoulders.

Sick Eagle Jokes More Sick Eagle Jokes

Why was the sick eagle in prison?

Because she was illegal.

What do you call a sick eagle?

Illegal.

Steal Jokes More Steal Jokes

What do you say to a Jedi who stole your sicilian dessert?

You owe me one cannoli.

What kind of jeans does Mario wear?

Denim denim denim.(http://youtu.be/rdnTvgK2o5I) shamelessly stolen from tumblr

Word Jokes More Word Jokes

How many vowels are in the word 'vowel'?

Four. O, double-u and e.

What word starts with F and ends in uck?

Firetruck. The answer is Firetruck.